wats wrong with me?

time of the month? i think so...

but i guess im also pretty jaded. wat have i accomplished in the last 1 yr here? i really dunno. i think morale and patience sunk an all time low tis afternoon. tis time its not dh, not anyone but its me.

so many negative tots culmated in me today. much more than any 'attack'.

was is a wrong career move for me? wld i have been better where i was or where i cld have gone to. i dunno and i really wont know. no where is gd. its juz a matter of how bad things are.

just feel that im under-achieving here. been feeling this way since i joined. it took some kind of willpower to carry on every day. Gg to work may not be a drag everyday cuz of the colleagues but there really isnt much to look forward to for work. at a total slack...

how long more can i last? wats the pt of gg for a long break? come back to work the recharged soul will once again wear thin again. but im still looking forward to my holiday. juz cuz i want to be away from the office. wats the pt of being at work anyway? when was the last time i typed a proper mail. when was the last time i followed up on a proper matter?

Jaded and lost...

now i will have to worry about how to face all of them tml. its really hard to pretend everything is ok when the heart and mind is feeling a ton. Hopping onto the cab and reaching home at 10 past 6 felt like a total relief. I switched off my mobile too.. hoping to switch off from the world entirely as well. Sweating out after the run, the cycle and the attempt to get 'in touch' with my inner soul thru yoga did help recover the tired soul and refresh the myself. but it did not cleanse off the negative tots. it must be bad when even cornetto classic cone did not do the trick.

what the hell is wrong with me....

Wish i can take the day off tml and head for the beach.. when all else fails.. the deep blue sea and star-lit nite skies may well do the trick.....

Ah hui.. 你要振作！